He was 40-ish. I was 12-ish. He was an ordinary bus conductor on the number 49 bus from Battersea to South Kensington. I was a child riding to school on that number 49 bus.
The conductor was saying all the usual things, the right things. ‘Hold very tight please.’ ‘Mind the stairs!’ ‘Watch how you go, love.’ And so forth. Then, suddenly, he must have got bored with it all.
‘Here we are for where we’re going. All in there for here, get off,’ he announced to the startled passengers.
That must have been 50 years ago. (‘And the rest’, says Himself unkindly). And have I forgotten that bus conductor? No, I have not.
Then there was the inspired Big Issue seller, outside Bond Street Station. ‘Help the homeless, such as me,’ he chanted. ‘Buy Big Issue, fifty pee. If you don’t, I’ll get no tea.’
Well I don’t have to tell you how long ago that was. 50p for a Big Issue? I should coco. But I’m sure he got his tea that evening. And have I forgotten that enterprising young man? Nope.
Another day, another ordinary chap going about his business. A lift conductor (remember those?) in a major department store (remember those?) ‘Going up…’ he droned. ‘Going up…’
Then, just like that bus conductor, he decided to spice things up a little ‘Going up. Going up. Going… sideways.’ Did no-one in the lift notice? Or were they too English to comment? Himself and I were lucky enough to be in that lift, and hopefully our delighted grins made that lift operator’s day just a bit brighter.
And, needless to say, I have never forgotten him.
People talk about small random acts of kindness – never let us stop doing them. People talk about acts of heroic self-sacrifice – they leave us all in awe.
But let’s hear it for the little random acts of humour which have given us pause, and a smile, and a lasting memory.
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